


The moment everything made sense

by football_fan



Series: From the beginning [3]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28590516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/football_fan/pseuds/football_fan
Relationships: Dele Alli/Eric Dier
Series: From the beginning [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093313
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	The moment everything made sense

It was only hours later that everything caught up to Dele, he was in bed and even though it was after midnight he couldn't sleep, he was just twisting and turning, his mind was racing. 

When he got home all he wanted to do was not think about Eric and the events of the day. He tried distracting himself by playing a few rounds of Fifa with his brother, they had dinner, he even did a work out, all in the vain attempt to not think about the look in Eric's eyes when he talked about finding love.

Now, laying alone in bed, staring at the wall, there wasn't anything he could do but think about the other man, he thought about finding love, finding that someone who completed you. 

Dele always believed in that whole opposites attract theory, he wanted to find someone who made him better, someone who made all his flaws not feel like flaws, someone who had all the pieces Dele was missing so together they could complete a perfect puzzle.

He couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that Eric was that for him, that he was the one meant to make him complete. Maybe what he considered close friendship was love staring him in the face, maybe that was something he always knew but was scared to admit?

Dele wondered whether he loved Eric, like actually loved him? What if all those hours he spent with Eric by his side as more than a teammate, when he wanted his company over anyone else's, even after coming home from training where he was with Eric the entire time, he found himself missing Eric and wanting to see him, spend even more time with him, what if craving his touch and attention, getting more pleasure from thinking about Eric than anything else meant more than just frustration, what if thinking about Eric non stop meant he loved him more than he was supposed to love his friends? 

What if today was the day he was finally sick of being in denial about what he felt and just said it, said what he felt all along, he didn't come here looking for love, he truly believes you can't look for love, but love found him, love hit him out of nowhere in the shape of one gigantic, blond, half-portugeese Eric. 

When he finally allowed himself to say it, he was surprised he had been able to deny it as long as he did.

It was so obvious, of course Eric made him happy, made him laugh, made him smile, simply made his every day better, but he also made him feel safe and important, he put him first always, he was always there when Dele needed him. 

It wasn't like he didn't have friends and family he could count on, but it was just different with Eric, he couldn't explain it, but it felt different, there where no boundaries with him, nothing Dele couldn't trust him with, nothing Dele wouldn't do with him, all he wanted was to make Eric happy. 

Dele was always apprehensive, he didn't open up or trust easily, but with Eric, it was like a car crash he couldn't stop, except it was the best kind of crash that could happen to you and Dele never looked back, never regreted it, if he was honest it was never really under his control, Eric slowly became the most important person in his life. 

And Dele loved him, he really did, he was more aware of his feelings now than he had ever been, he fell in love with Eric and there was no going back, all he wanted was him.

He wouldn't, no he couldn't wait anymore, before he knew what he was doing he was in his car on the way to Eric's house.

The first thing he did when he got out of bed was get dressed, he threw on the first hodie he could find and slid on a pair of comfortable sweats. He was always cold so he already had socks on, as he never slept without them. 

He tried to be as quiet as he possibly could while he was sneaking out of the house, he didn't want to wake his brother up, the idea of trying to explain what his was doing right now to anyone but Eric terrified him, Dele knew only Eric would understand.

While driving to Eric's house, Dele was understandably nervous, the feelings going through his head were very similar to those he felt when he arrived at Hotspur Way for the first time, he was nervous but he also knew it was what he needed to do.

Eric didn't live far from him so the drive was not long, it didn't give Dele enough time to come up with a speech that might actually make sense to Eric. When he got to the gate he sat in his car for a few minutes, he thought about going back home, not ruining what he and Eric had.

His head was telling him that he should think this through more, and not do anything crazy in the middle of the night, but his heart was telling him something else entirely and before he knew what he was doing he was out of the car standing at the gate, typing in the code to Eric's gate, the code he knew from memory, he didn't even have to think about it, he just typed it in and the next thing he knew he was standing in front of Eric's door, actually ringing his doorbell at two in the morning.

Eric was woken up suddenly in the middle of the night by his doorbell going off, he had no idea what was going on, he thought maybe he dreamt it. He knew he didn't because his very enjoyable dream that maybe included a certain curly haired teammate was interrupted by this horrible sound. 

He decided to investigate and see who it might be, as he was walking downstairs all he could think about was getting back in bed and maybe continuing his blessed dream. 

If he had been more awake maybe he would've been more apprehensive about opening his front door in the middle of the night, but the last person he expected to see when ge opened his door was Dele just standing there, wearing comfortable clothes, no product in his hair, no jewelry. Just Dele.

He seemed a little nervous, like he wasn't sure about being here. Eric didn't know what to do, Dele was always welcomed in his home, of course he was, there must've been a good reason that brought him to his doorstep in the middle of the night, Eric didn't even know what time it was.

"What are you doing here?" Eric asked him.

Dele was looking at him like he was looking for the right words to say, but couldn't find any, he also looked like he might cry, which especially unnerved Eric.

"I needed to see you, I, I, I need to talk to you about something" Dele answered quietly, his nervousness obvious, he couldn't even meet Eric's eye, kept looking down.

Eric stepped aside to let him, he wondered whether there was a universe in which he was actually capable of saying no to Dele, probably not, he thought as he turned around to lock the door before joining Dele who was walking straight to the living room, like he'd been there before, which he has, more times that Eric could count.

Dele was pacing around the room, he wasn't saying anything, Eric didn't know what to do, he thought maybe if he sat down on the sofa Dele will sit next to him and calm down, they could talk about anything, they could get through anything.

"Do you want some water, or something, I can make us some tea?" 

Eric was trying to diffuse the situation, wanted to ease the pressure on Dele, the other man seemed really nervous. What was most unnerving to Eric was that Dele looked like he had been in bed, so what was it that made him get out of bed and come here at this hour, they were going to see each other at training tomorrow, so what was it that Dele couldn't wait to tell him?

"A glass of water please" Dele mumbled.

As Eric was getting Dele his water, he felt like he was going through the motions, his heart was beating so fast, he could hear it in his ears.

Maybe Dele was nervous about today, about the interview they did, maybe he was uncomfortable with the conversation about love and just wanted to clear the air with Eric.

As he was walking back to the living room holding a glass of water he thought maybe Dele felt the same as him, maybe Dele also couldn't get the look they shared out of his head, the way Dele looked at him straight in the eye when he said it, it made Eric need to look away, maybe Dele was as confused as he was?

"Thanks" Dele said as Eric handed him the glass, their fingers brushed slightly on the glass.

They just stood there, so close yet so far, both of their hands on the glass, fingers touching, it could have been 10 seconds or 10 hours, neither one of them knew, they just stared at their hands.

Dele was the first to look up, he didn't realize how close Eric really was, only a few inches separated their mouths. Dele was never in his life more overwhelmed with the need to kiss someone. He thought his heart would burst if he didn't.

Eric looked up as well, even though they were the same height, he always felt taller than Dele, even now, when they were standing so close, he felt like he needed to look down, maybe that was because he couldn't look away from Dele's lips. 

Eric has never kissed a guy, never wanted to really, but now standing here like this with Dele, there wasn't anything else he wanted more, and for some reason he knew it was what Dele wanted as well, they way he was looking at him right now, standing in his living room in the middle of the night, still fidgeting nervously. 

They could read each other so well, if Eric didn't want Dele he would have handed him the glass and took a few steps back, he wouldn't still be standing here holding the same glass still, touching Dele's fingers. If Dele didn't want Eric, he wouldn't be here surely, he wouldn't be looking at him they way he is now.

How much time passed? They didn't know, they didn't care, all they knew was that they were not close enough. It was Eric now who made the move, he slowly reached out with his other hand and thouched Dele's other hand, the one that wasn't holding the glass, the one that was just by his side.

Eric wondered whether this might ruin the moment, whether it will snap them out of this haze and they will both take a step back and try to laugh it off. Before Eric could continue to ponder, Dele grabbed his hand.

Now they were actually holding hands, it wasn't an accident that happened while Eric was handing Dele a glass of water, and it made them both extremely nervous and extremely exited.

Eric started laughing, chucking slightly under his breath, he couldn't help it, it was an involuntary response to all the little butterflies that were now wreaking havoc in his stomach.

Maybe he sounded nervous because Dele squeezed his hand tighter as if to comfort him. To tell him without using any words that he understood, he felt the same, he was burning on the inside.

Their eyes met again, and it was like the rest of the world just disappeared, here in the quietness of Eric's living room was all that mattered. They were looking at each other, they couldn't look away, it was like they were trying to figure each other out. 

They were so close now, closer than they were before, they could feel the other ones breath on their face. God, Eric wanted to kiss him so bad, he was so close, it felt like he was on the edge of a cliff and didn't know whether to jump or not.

"Can I?"

Eric was surprised by Dele's question, he understood what Dele was asking him, it was all the words they needed, anything else would have been pointless and a waste of time and air.

It looks like Dele made the decision for him, he was going to jump off this cliff but he wasn't going to do it alone, Dele was right there with him, holding his hand.

Eric nodded and the next thing he knew, they were moving closer to each other, it was funny, a second ago he felt like he couldn't be closer to Dele and now it felt like it took ages to get to him.

The first touch of their lips was slow, hesitant, they were nervous understandably but they didn't mind, they took their time figuring it out. Why would they rush, they had all the time in the world.

Neither of them had ever kissed a man before, it was different, but not in a bad way. No it was different in the best way possible, because it felt right, like they were right where they should be.

As their kiss got deeper, Dele suddenly started laughing, Eric was nervous for a second but then saw what was making Dele laugh. They were still holding the glass.

"Just put it down" 

Dele did, the glass was on a coaster on the little coffee table they were standing next to, they only looked at it for a second before their attention was back on each other.

Eric thought maybe now was the time to say something, maybe they should talk. He really didn't want to. All he wanted was to get Dele back in his arms and kiss him until the sun came up.

Thankfully Dele didn't need to talk, any and all words were unnecessary. He placed both of his hands on Eric's neck and leaned up to kiss him.

Eric couldn't deny him, he let his hands land on Dele's waist and completely gave in. They were kissing now with more passion then before, for some reason they weren't nervous anymore. They were desperate, they couldn't get enough of each other. 

Before they knew it, Dele's hands were in Eric's hair, Eric was kissing his neck, any place he could reach he wanted to kiss, he was intoxicated by the smell and feel of Dele in his arms, he sneaked his hands under Dele's hoodie and placed them on his lower back.

There was a particular spot Eric kissed, high on the left side of Dele's neck, close to his ear, it made Dele tighten the grip he had on Eric's hair and it also made him moan, it was the best sound Eric has ever heard, he kept placing little kisses there, then switch to little bites on maybe beginnings of a hickey just to hear Dele make that sound again.

Dele couldn't get enough, he wanted to kiss Eric, he used his hands in Eric's hair as leverage to lift his head up so they could go back to kissing. It felt so good, they let go of all their inhibitions, there were no more boundaries to cross, they were kissing like they've never kissed anyone before, which at this point kind of felt like it wasn't far from the truth.

They might have been standing there for a few minutes or maybe it was longer than that, neither one knew and they didn't care, because it didn't matter. Eventually they were running out of breath and had to take a break. Even though they weren't kissing they were still holding each other so close, they didn't want to let go, their faces were so close they were breathing the same air.

"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" Eric asked as a joke, he couldn't even keep in the little giggle that managed to escape.

Dele looked at him straight in the eye, he smiled, thought about making a joke. Suddenly he was overwhelmed with the need to say something, he didn't know whether it was a mistake, maybe he was rushing it, but he didn't know if he could hold it in still, the words were so close to spilling out of his mouth.

"I love you"

Eric was stunned, he didn't know what to say, a million thoughts passed through his head. Before he could actually say anything, Dele started talking again.

"I'm sorry, I know it's too soon to say it, maybe you don't even want to hear it, I'm sorry I don't know what came over me, but I do Eric, I really do, it took me a long time to figure it out, to be honest with myself, I don't want to be in denial anymore, you make me so happy, you make every day better, I wake up and sometimes all I look forward to is seeing you, I didn't know for so long and now I do, I really love you Eric so much, you probably don't feel the same, that's okay, but I just wanted you to kno..."

Eric stopped him mid word by kissing him, just a peck so he would stop talking. He wanted Dele to relax, he was speaking so fast it was like he wasn't breathing.

"It's okay Del, relax, just breathe" 

Eric was trying to calm Dele down, he was holding him so close, his hands were on Dele's waist under his hoodie. Dele closed his eyes, he took a few deep breaths and was ready to apologize to Eric.

"I'm sorry..."

"I love you too"

They said at the same time, Dele wasn't sure he heard him.

"What?"

"I love you too Dele, so much"

The world stopped again. They were the only ones that mattered. Before they knew it they were kissing again. 

There was so much they needed to talk about, so much they still needed to figure out, but right now it this very moment they couldn't have cared less. 

Their smiles were covering most of their faces and all they wanted was to be close to each other. Eric grabbed his hand and turned around, they were walking slowly and in silence. Dele following behind Eric, they hands tangled. Dele has been at Eric's house enough times to now Eric was leading him to his bedroom. 

They weren't ready to go any further, they both knew that, but it was the middle of the night, and one thing they were both sure of was that Dele is not going anywhere, so they were just gonna sleep here.

Maybe they were actually going the spend most of the night kissing, cuddling, talking, who knows? It didn't matter to them, they were finally together, the way they wanted to be for so long, everything finally made sense. Neither one had ever felt so calm, settled and happy than they did at this moment.


End file.
